It used to be that 'the wedding planning group' consisted of the bride and groom, the bride's parents, and maybe a wedding coordinator. Now, with wedding planning getting evermore complicated (and expensive), the new trend is to expand the wedding planning group to include additional people. So the bride and groom might be co-planning with both sets of parents, along with step-parents. "We're even seeing grandparents and godparents getting into the mix, contributing finances for the photography, videography, flowers, cakes, even the honeymoon," says Sharon Naylor, author of 1000 Best Wedding Bargains and a resident wedding expert on
But the wedding planning 'team' does not begin and end with those who are opening their wallets and pulling out the platinum cards. One of the most important factors of any wedding wedding planning team is emotional support, and that's where the bride and groom's friends, siblings, cousins and colleagues come in. Everyone, it seems, wants to support this positive era in the couple's life together, so they chime in with:
Referrals to their favorite wedding experts, often at a discount for being a 'friends and family referral'
Referrals to great wedding ceremony and reception sites
Referrals to stores and resources for supplies and craft items
Emotional support for wedding planning stress
'Rescuing' the bride and groom from wedding world with a fun night out or a weekend away
The use of their vacation home for a honeymoon or pre-wedding getaway
The protectors of the bride and groom's perspective, making sure they focus on the marriage ahead, not just the wedding.
Throwing the couple multiple bridal showers in all the regions where their family and friends live.
It's not just about the wedding plans themselves; it's about the people you share the day with. And every bride and groom should take care to surround themselves from the very start of their plans, right through to the wedding day and beyond, with their most trusted, supportive friends and family. This is a group effort, so any wedding planning team that functions well together produces a far better wedding than a fractious group that spews judgment, manipulation, petty jealousies, and financial power plays. Keep those people at a distance for the sake of your wedding planning success and sanity. Who wants to spend time with a miserable person? Especially when you have so many better people to share your plans with?
So the new trend in wedding planning is not just stopping at naming financial contributors and bridal party members, but making a far longer list of all those friends and relatives near and far, those supportive colleagues and bosses, whose happiness and joy could be overshadowed by that one bitter bridesmaid if you don't consciously record their contributions to your well-being. "When you make your list of who's FOR you, it lifts your spirits in an attitude of gratitude," says Sharon Naylor. "And you're the radiant bride once again, knowing that you are lucky to have the man by your side as well as so many supportive people on your wedding team."
Brides and grooms are getting creative with their wedding planning team 'rosters,' including children who have adorable things to say about their roles in the wedding, their hairstylist, their minister or rabbi, even pets who welcome them home with tail-wagging joy each night after work. "We've heard from couples who count their invitation designers, their caterers, and their site managers as being on their wedding team," says Sharon Naylor. "Anyone who plays a positive part in your plans goes on that list, which - and this is important! - you should read over regularly during the months of your wedding plans.
Gratitude for the people around you is a new wedding trend, despite what you might see on Bridezillas, since weddings have become more about people and less about flash, sparkle and extravagance. Make your list now and marvel at how many people are on your list. And send them a quick thank you note now to let them know they are appreciated.
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